The Mark Carney Pen Appreciation Society
“If this is your pen,” Carney replied, “then why is it in my pocket?”
OTTAWA - Attention penophiles and Carneyvores, there’s a new association to give $5 a month to: The Mark Carney Pen Appreciation Society.
The society and its Patreon page were formed here in Ottawa shortly after Prime Minister Carney met with Provincial and Territorial leaders in Ottawa on Friday.
“I noticed that guy [Carney] really likes to hold pens when he talks,” said Guy de Penoir, President of the MCPAS. “And it’s a different pen every time.”
Guy de Penoir has followed the new Prime Minister event-to-event hoping to learn more about the man’s ever-growing pen collection.
After the Federal Liberal Leadership debate, de Penoir asked Mr. Carney what brand of pen he was gesticulating with.
Carney responded, “I have no idea. It was just lying there on the table backstage. I’m keeping it.”
Mr. Carney met with British Prime Minister Keir Starmer and then King Charles III in London on March 17th. That same day, the new Canadian Prime Minister was seen brandishing a stylish silver-on-black ballpoint pen.
De Penoir asked about the pen upgrade. “I’m not sure of the brand,” Carney answered, “Cross, maybe. I borrowed it from Keir. He said it was a gift from a dearly departed friend.” Carney quickly pocketed the pen and moved on to a new question regarding his blind trust.
The next pen sighting: Edmonton, Alberta. Prime Minister Carney held an event announcing the elimination of GST for first-time homebuyers on homes at or under $1 million.
Mark Carney toured an Edmontonian construction site where De Penoir witnessed Carney pick up a rain-sodden pen beside a truck. A construction worker approached the PM and thanked him for finding his lost pen. “If this is your pen,” Carney replied, “then why is it in my pocket?”
Guy de Penoir plans to open a museum featuring all of Prime Minister Carney’s ill- and well-gotten pens. “Once his tenure as PM is over, which could be in a couple of months, I plan to write the PM’s office and request all the pens be donated to my museum.”
The museum? An old VW bus that will tour the country. “Gas is expensive and I’m still paying off this old shit bucket. That’s why it is critical people sign up for my Patreon and give me at least $5 a month. More is better. I have a lot of car and pen-related debt.”
I was going to write down the address for the MCPAS Patreon page but noticed my Pentel Slicci Ultra Fine needle point pen was missing from my jacket pocket.